performance anxiety
performance anxiety calm
i haven’t been writing much lately: here or on paper.
and as i sat here thinking about WHY, i wondered, for the tiniest moment, if it was because i was anxious…
if it was because i had fallen back into the TRAP of comparing myself with others and coming up short.
or if it was that what i wanted to say wouldn’t come out right and that it would be misinterpreted.
and i realised as i sat here, in quiet conversation with myself that i wasn’t comparing. and i’m not anxious.
i’m totally calm. and still.
peace-full.
and the words aren’t coming because nothing is clamouring to be said.
(well, apart from this obviously)
tanaya
26/07/2010 at 21:23 //
ah yes, calm. i remember that feeling.
here is to embracing the calm.
Amy
26/07/2010 at 23:14 //
I am very, very glad that you are calm instead of anxious. I too struggle with comparing myself to others… hopefully someday I will learn peace.
jo
27/07/2010 at 09:27 //
Oh how I love this
Swirly
27/07/2010 at 20:17 //
Lovely
Nadine
28/07/2010 at 00:17 //
Funny that. You can see why the ancient Greeks believed in muses. Because sometimes, the words don’t let me sleep, clamouring to be born. And sometimes…
There just aren’t any. Fortunately I don’t make my living writing so I don’t have to slog through the quiet days trying to make the words come.
xo
rachel awes
28/07/2010 at 13:17 //
i love your inner listening
& your transparent sharing w/us.
xox
Anne-Marie
28/07/2010 at 23:33 //
calm is good – but i’m not so sure i’d like to be so calm that i couldn’t write.
Helen in Switzerland
29/07/2010 at 17:16 //
I think you may have found inner zen my dear…..I love the idea that you don’t write because nothing is clamouring to be said. It sounds to me as if unintentionally you have got it sussed…
Jude - top sister
31/07/2010 at 08:27 //
I’ve had that – had to get a book to help me with it and now steer clear of things I know I can’t handle!
Send me your details – I just joined facebook!!
Jude - top sister
31/07/2010 at 08:29 //
;-{)
Christina
04/08/2010 at 01:14 //
I quite love this. Love imagining you siting in quiet having a little stare down with the page. I know those moments well.