an autumn mood

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today, i feel like an empty vessel tethered to the shoreline
today, i feel all of my years
today, it’s not you keeping me from restful sleep
today, i’m drifting towards a new way

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The Gift

Time wants to show you a different country. It’s the one
that your life conceals, the one waiting outside
when curtains are drawn, the one Grandmother hinted at
in her crochet design, the one almost found
over at the edge of the music, after the sermon….

It’s a balance, the taking and passing along,
the composting of where you’ve been and how people
and weather treated you. It’s a country where
you already are, bringing where you have been.
Time offers this gift in its millions of ways,
turning the world, moving the air, calling,
every morning, “Here, take it, it’s yours.”

– William Stafford

in the leaving and letting go

tree stump detail. copyright leonie wise

fern frond. copyright leonie wise

in the leaving, instead of letting go, i have been trying with grasping fingers to hold on to something that no longer exists… something that has crumbled to dust

in the leaving, instead of letting go, i’ve been scraping that dust into bowls, trying to make bones from the ruins, as if somehow i can pray things back into being

in the leaving, instead of letting go, i’ve been questioning the holiness of how it is

in the leaving, instead of letting go, i overlooked the love found, and chosen, right here in front of me

and here in the leaving, i get the chance to recover lost things…
+ another way to practise loving what is
+ another way to let shit go
+ another opportunity to be my own first choice

Nothing is absolute. Everything changes, everything moves, everything revolves, everything flies and goes away.
– Frida Kahlo

a few favourites

things on the table by leonie wise

listening | Ta-ku + Cereal – Flight Track – Vol.1 and Vol. 2 + in her room podcasts by sara blackthorne – women writers on life, craft and changing the world

admiring  |  the genius behind this beautiful visual guide to formal, informal, and accompaniment place settings

dreaming  | of cocoa & dandelion root truffles (with freshly ground organic coffee) <– are you reading this nic?

reading  |  “you want easy? take up stamp collecting” – notes on feeding the creative hunger by my friend David duChemin + A customer walked into his pizza shop and changed Philadelphia with $1 and a single Post-it note.

loving  |  the worlds first octographer – at sealife aquarium in new zealand! an octopus is trained to take photos of aquarium visitors + the instagram photos of new zealand (& other places) made by helena sofia  + the new bowndling guides

buying  |  stuff from the creative market. like the lovely helena font. now i want the boho family of fonts and the brush up font and the manifold font!

thinking  |  we rarely suffer from any kind of ailments (colds, flu etc.) but i am tempted to give this antibiotic recipe a try anyway as it sounds delicious!

training  |  for the queenstown half-marathon in november this year (though i haven’t fully committed to it yet, by actually entering)!!   

dis.connect

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In giving voice to what we feel, the darkest cry uttered with honesty can arrive as the holiest of songs.
– Mark Nepo, The Book of Awakening

some days feel like an impenetrable wall of coded messages that i don’t understand.

there is a sense of exclusion that previously didn’t feel as if it existed – it leaves me wondering exactly when i was cut adrift

i’m not good with guessing,
as to what it was that happened
when one side of the conversation has ended and
i’m left talking to myself…

how do i cross the chasm, or at least gain clarity and closure when the other is silent?

disconnection possible even as the deep red arteries of the universe run through us all.

 

11 things

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the (wo)man burns. kiwiburn 2015

  1. i don’t like clutter… it makes my head hurt and my eyes go wobbly. which is probably why this house is a constantly moving tide of things in and out
  2. i have come to the conclusion that i have too many cameras (ref. 1) so some of them have to go
  3. i don’t like chocolate
  4. nor do i like ambiguous emails – or conversations – that leave me wondering “what the … was the point of that?!” tell it to me straight
  5. nature is my holy place. it’s why we married on a beach, under a tree, instead of in a church
  6. be true, or go away. and by that i mean be yourself. i apply this rule to myself too
  7. i miss my friends in england & the usa/canada something fierce. skype is a poor cousin to face-to-face conversation
  8. never did i imagine myself taking up trail running. yet – if you follow me on instagram, you see that – here i am, about to do an 8km event tomorrow
  9. i have no idea what i’m doing half the time, but it doesn’t usually stop me
  10. i very rarely spend money on myself. not because i don’t believe i deserve it, more because i’d rather spend it on adventuring
  11. i want to live like this….
    “Step into the fire of self-discovery. This fire will not burn you, it will only burn what you are not.”
    – Mooji

i will find my way back

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1 – 6 // scenes from a moving train, going to visit my parents

7 // looking back down to a loop of the raurimu spiral. an incredible piece of civil engineering that enables the train to climb 139 metres in a very small space using the natural contours of the terrain & an amazing spiral/horseshoe design [here’s a photo of it from the air]

8 – 10 // scenes from a tiny regional plane, homeward bound

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i will find my way back
» find my way back by cody fry

these words could mean so many many things for me right now….

today, it’s the one hour flight home that turned into a five-and-a-half hour journey due to fog.

today, it’s the golden light above the clouds before our tiny plane was diverted to another airport.

today, it’s having lunch with my husband in the city before boarding the ferry to come home.

today, it’s the tuis calling and chasing each other through the trees outside the window where i sit.

today, it’s being home.