1 min read

status anxiety

status anxiety

20140401-081637.jpg
self-portrait, yesterday

swirling thoughts, little remnants from slumber, waking early, with a head full of to-do’s and what-if’s – all of these things feeding into my current status anxiety.

sas wrote beautifully about sacred responsibility recently; about all the tiny choices she made that have got her to where she is now. her eloquence, vulnerability and willingness to be honest with herself are little lights that comfort me and whisper “keep going”.

though i know this is right where i need to be and that my own little tiny choices have led me to here, there’s still a bit of niggling anxiety:

i have been known to give up on things when they get “too hard”, to run away and hide rather than making friends with my fears. even if there will be times i want to give up, it feels like it really is time to embrace my own conscious choice; to stay open, and saying yes, to what is next.

and, with friends like Sas and Lisa lighting the way, it makes me braver and more willing to.

i am winded, unsure,
and willing.
lisa field-elliot