celebrate everything until further notice

i knew it was coming, but that didn't mean i was ready for it. i'd had months and months to tell her how much she meant to me. and to say goodbye. i did these things but i still wasn't ready.

i met jeanine at squam lake workshops in september 2009 and haven't stopped loving her since.

we shared photo booth moments and camping adventures, traded insults and sent videos of our morning walks. we both had a profound love of river and ocean swimming, for film photography and 3191 miles apart. we never let time, or distance, be a thing that diminished our friendship.

cancer got her and she fought. she fought hard. for herself. for joe. for her girls. for everyone that loved her.

jeanine and joe used her final months on earth to show their girls what unwavering love and kindness and support look like.

What else can we do but be with each other and love each other?
- Jeanine, in a message to me, Jan 2026

what else indeed.

jeanine lived her life with such exuberant joy that i feel it's my duty to keep her spirit alive by celebrating everything until further notice.

i wish she'd had more time. i don’t know what else to say... except that our friendship meant the world to me. to be truly seen and known and loved by her over all these years is one of the greatest treasures of my life. one that i'll carry with me forever.

don't you cry
i'm already home
there's not one mile in this life you'll walk alone
and if you need me
and we're not together
close your eyes
to see me better
i'll be here forever
- sara bareilles  from 'forever', on her 2026 album good grief