how to avoid writing

to give the flip side of susannah’s recent tips on how to get unstuck when writing, here’s some tips for you on how to avoid writing at all costs. these tips are based on my own (current) real-life experiences.

1. procrastinate. make lots of lists of things to do. get them all done aside from the ones where you have to write something
2. say yes to invitations from friends to write guest posts and be part of exquisite collaborations, then be prepared to experience the worst writer’s block ever
3. never allow yourself any time to sit quietly. avoid going for a walk alone at. all. costs. these moments are where creative ideas are born
4. claim VOICE as your word for the year, then do all that you can to suppress it
5. read other people’s writing and get depressed because what they have to say appears to be more interesting than anything you could possibly write yourself
6. hang out online for hours on end not really with any purpose in mind
7. watch movies that aren’t really that good
8. fill your blog with crazy moustaches and leave your paper journals as dry & dusty as death valley
9. pretend you have nothing to say