i can tell you

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Perhaps somewhere, someplace deep inside your being, you have undergone important changes while you were sad.
– rainer maria rilke

(i think this is true)

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i can tell you what it’s like to grow up as a minister’s daughter,
and how we used to get our milk from a local farmer in a stainless-steel billy that one of my uncles made for my mother.
i can tell you what sand feels like between my toes, how much i love climbing trees, what it’s like to be a part of the hay-making season.
i can tell you what it’s like to drift off to the sleep hearing the sound of the ocean, what penguins sound like when they nest under your house
and how, even now, the sound of the waves is the fastest thing to draw me toward slumber.

what i can’t tell you is why the need to take root, then learn about gardening, is pressing forward into my daily thoughts
and how learning to crochet, make my own bread, grow things and practise the art of preserving are
scrambling for space in amongst the london tube maps and adventure plans.

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  1. london HAS had some sunshine this year. the above photograph is evidence (from the first roll of film in the holga generously gifted to me by the lovely amanda)
  2. zen bound 2 is providing some fabulous distraction right now
  3. my very clever husband and i are developing a new app right now and i’m going to need some creative-type people to help me test it sometime in the next couple of months. if you have an iphone/ipod touch and you love words, please let me know (by leaving a comment telling me so) if you’d like to be part of the beta testing. in return for your feedback, i promise to gift you the app once it’s finished
  4. have you seen the daily polaroid by amanda marsalis? stunning
  5. in the shadow of things by léonie hampton is a record of…

    Léonie’s attempts to help her mother deal with problems caused by OCD. Four years ago she began to help her mother clear the boxes and objects that were taking over the house. It soon became apparent that these immovable boxes carried with them the full weight of the past, and that by opening them together they had released a tide of emotions that would not subside easily.

10 thoughts on “i can tell you

  • I would totally be interested in testing your app! I love words! I have an IPhone 4 if that is information you need.

  • i can tell you how it feels to arrive in a city and feel firecracker excited, displaced and alone. and then how it feels to carve out a place on a hillside with a windmill.
    i can tell you what it feels like to arrive years later, in a family of choice and feel welcomed and accepted. and then how it feels to find that a sister from another mister used to live on that same hillside, in the same city, in the same street.
    it feels like fate.

    also: bring on the beta :)

  • love the rilke quote.

    i’m an iphone user, happy to do my bit ;-)

    i’ve found myself thinking ridiculous amounts about plants and gardens and knitting and i just gave into it. those are the things that truly relax me.

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