spiritually presentable

anxiety.

it’s a small word that really doesn’t adequately define the feeling…

… the one where I go to meet a friend, perhaps for the first time, perhaps one I have met many times before. it is the quiet moments before the encounter, where I am opening my heart, readying myself for the moments we are together.

it’s when i wonder if i am spiritually presentable; whether the gift that i bring of myself, my heart, my willingness to meet and be seen is enough. i wonder if i am about to be caught out somehow, shown up as being a fraud, an impostor, coversationally or spiritually inept.

yet, to my surprise and [often] delight, i discover that the people i find myself gathering with are a reflection of where i am in my life…

this friendship.
this conversation.
this meeting.

… these are perfectly timed, beautifully orchestrated moments that exist because of all that has gone before.

i let go of wondering how on earth it was that i got to meet this person, or that person, and trust instead in the magical way that life opens up to me in all it’s glory simply because I show up and am willing to be met, wherever i am, however i am, in this moment.

these moments exist because i am ready for them;

this friendship,
this conversation,
this meeting…

… and they are ready for me.