we are halfway through december and almost done with the year. there are currently 16 blog posts sitting in my drafts folder from this year, all of them abandoned halfway through or almost done. i joke to colleagues about calling our home the museum of unfinished projects because i have so many creative projects trapped in the liminal space between started and almost done in our physical space too. my intention is to bring my attention to these, now, and in the coming year. making space to return to them with the energy and focus they deserve, bringing them to completion or letting them go.
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so many things have changed this year. internal landscapes have shifted. we have talked about, and experienced loss, as have our friends. work has been exhausting. and rewarding. friends have returned from faraway places bringing new conversations and new family members, while other friendships have become untethered across oceans of silence. taking risks with being truly seen has happened through brave conversations face-to-face. there have been new tattoos and old habits, decisions made that keep us close to our dreams. there has been rest, balanced with yes.
we travel. we stay home. i visit family i haven’t seen for years. i stay up late, looking at the stars and wake in the mornings before the sun. i am constantly in love with mystery. and how amazing the universe is. i stop and wonder at natural inventions and human inventions, pausing between here and there to be fully now. i am rewarded with glimpses of how peaceful life can be when i get out of my own way.
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i have a week in the presence of david whyte, the realisation of a decades-long dream. i spend it in deep thought, and with new companions. i spend time conversing with my beautiful but disturbing questions. during the week david tossed out poems and considerations that nudged me in the direction of my own life. his words have me contemplating who i am practising at becoming, wondering what frontiers between what is me and what is not me i still have to encounter. i return home half a shade braver after travelling with my new friends.
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i keep a list of small pleasures tucked away in my heart:
- skype chats
- group messages
- a subtle shift in our diet
- the ways my body is learning to move
- quiet light
- the dawn chorus
- handwritten conversations with a friend
- a podcast
- a weekly list
- sleeping with the doors open
- the foodlovers club
- ocean swimming
pondering… what are the elements of a deeply fulfilling life that i need have i neglected, abandoned, or overlooked? how can i gather these in to my daily practises in the new year?
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i wonder what will become of this small space on the internet in 2019. i wonder if there is a place for words amongst all the instant-messaging places in the world. i don’t care about building a “personal brand” or monetising my blog. i don’t care about sponsored posts, or cross-posting, or anything but showing up. if a blogger writes a post and nobody reads it, does it actually exist?
i wonder who will come here next year, or if anyone is even reading these posts at all anymore. so, if you’re reading and you want to say hello, i would love to know what’s on your mind right now.
happy and safe holidays to you all. i hope your new year is the best one yet
I find the Internet too noisy and irrelevant, so I shy away from it more and more. But then I come back and see your words and images and I sigh, smile and am so grateful for your reflections. I love seeing the world through your eyes. xxx
Thanks Robyn. I think there is a lot of noise and irrelevance on the internet and I’m certainly finding myself backing away from most social media places. But perhaps there is a place for all of us if we are intentional about what we choose to pay attention to. Hope all is good in your world. xx
I wonder these things about blogging too. And I’m here. What’s on my mind: whether or not to go to a dance class this evening, a sudden realization of what the name of the art project called Stolpersteine means, a few random world news items.
And did you go? I had to look up Stolpersteine and if you’re referring to the work of the artist Gunter Demnig, that looks amazing! I’m glad you’re here. x
Dear Leonie, I have also been reading along for several years. I love your photos and your writing and I see them as an inspiration. It does not matter if you don’t blog frequently. Your posts are like a breath of fresh air in the midst of blogs that are selling something or branding themselves. You have permission to just do you, regardless of what the world around is doing. Please don’t stop:-)
You are very kind and I appreciate you making the time to leave a comment. Thank-you Fanny!
Greetings from an invisble blogger. My home is also a temple to unfinished projects.
A kindred then. I am glad I’m not the only one!
I was thinking of you and talking about you to Nic just yesterday and here you are!
Hope you and your family are well and happy.
Leonie, I’ve been following your blog for a few years now and appreciate your words no matter how short or infrequent. Keep at it, I say.
Winam, I am glad of your company here and thankful for your comment that leads me to your little space on the internet. Happy holidays xx