objects of desire

algarve, portugal

the glittering object of desire is often seen as the answer to all present difficulties. the natural thought is that; with this incredible thing, with this incredible woman, with this car, with this workspace, i will be different. a person without the problems i possess now. but there are manifold drawbacks…

…it is a want that may actually be a way of stopping real things from happening.
– david whyte. the three marriages: reimagining work, self and relationship

i could think of at least a dozen times that this has been true in my own life. those times when i think about how much better my life would be if only i had a bigger desk or an allocated room for all my creative projects. how i could take better pictures if i had a better camera. how a new mixing bowl or item of fancy kitchen equipment will almost certainly guarantee that i am a better cook. how that very sparkley object is, without doubt, going to change my life if only i could have it right now. or, i would be successful or feel beautiful if only i had … (with conditions attached).

david whyte has me thinking about the possibility that i might be preventing real things from happening in my own life whilst i am seeking answers through obtaining desirable objects.

he leaves me wanting to be more mindful of future objects that i introduce into my already cluttered life.

these thoughts also goad me into taking a good look at all the things i currently have in my life that might have arrived there from me imagining (consciously or unconsciously) that they were an answer to a difficulty/problem.

5 thoughts on “objects of desire

  • Very, very true. Even though I know better, part of me still chases some of those “things” that will make me complete. Only lately have I decided that I don’t think I want to be complete. After all, once you are, what’s left to dream on?

  • …And now I am a little paranoid, because it is as though both you and Mr Whyte have gained access to the inner wrinkly bits of my brain. Thoughts of this type are often my unhelpful companions, too.

    For what it’s worth, I think you’re bloody marvellous just as you are, and with what you have right now.

  • ever since kristen and i made a pact last september not to buy anything for a year except art supplies, i have totally been thinking about this … and have totally ended up getting rid of about 1/2 the stuff in our house and the lack of too much stuff seems to free up a part of me whereas all the stuff felt like it was weighing me down somehow. it feels really good. :)

  • for me its always been ‘my life will be better if i lost 10 kilos’.
    since i started living out loud, i haven’t weighed myself. and i haven’t felt more connected to my body. or more beautiful.


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