so many things

so many things

there are so many things i cannot tell you

like how there is a sadness inside me that has no name, sitting heavy in the pit of my stomach, causing me to weep at the slightest thing

that i’m afraid that i won’t ever find my place to call home

i don’t know where my road goes

how much of an impostor i feel in my own life

i can feel the sun on my face, but climbing out of the dark into the light often fills me with fear instead of joy

i don’t know what you need, or even if i can give it to you

i don’t need you to fix me

i don’t know how to ease my own suffering, so the thought of being able to help the world sometimes feels impossible

being with you, i feel small and insignificant

sometimes i wish the outside of me was more beautiful

it feels like it is taking me too long to learn my lessons

sometimes i wish i could go back to sleep

thank-you for leaving. it prompted me to get out and live my life

9 thoughts on “so many things

  • If I could do away with one thing in life, it would be fear.
    I so get you… so many of these things you said feel familiar. Some of them touch a very soft and sensitive part of my heart.
    Thank you so much for sharing this.

  • too long? I relate. I don’t think it’s true, though.
    the radically new feels scary even when it shouldn’t, when it’s much better than the old way…but that’s okay. just forward.

  • Hugs to you, lovely lady. I completely relate, and wish I could hop over to NZ and go for a beach walk with you … xxox

  • Aww hun…totally get where you’re coming from on so many of those points…well just about all really. maybe it’s the tortured artists in us…or simply the human condition. I dunno.

    Try to remember you’re right where you need to be & everything you need to know is inside of you already.

    Love the picture & thanks for sharing the feelings.

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