anxiety.
it’s a small word that really doesn’t adequately define the feeling…
… the one where I go to meet a friend, perhaps for the first time, perhaps one I have met many times before. it is the quiet moments before the encounter, where I am opening my heart, readying myself for the moments we are together.
it’s when i wonder if i am spiritually presentable; whether the gift that i bring of myself, my heart, my willingness to meet and be seen is enough. i wonder if i am about to be caught out somehow, shown up as being a fraud, an impostor, coversationally or spiritually inept.
yet, to my surprise and [often] delight, i discover that the people i find myself gathering with are a reflection of where i am in my life…
this friendship.
this conversation.
this meeting.
… these are perfectly timed, beautifully orchestrated moments that exist because of all that has gone before.
i let go of wondering how on earth it was that i got to meet this person, or that person, and trust instead in the magical way that life opens up to me in all it’s glory simply because I show up and am willing to be met, wherever i am, however i am, in this moment.
these moments exist because i am ready for them;
this friendship,
this conversation,
this meeting…
… and they are ready for me.
you are the personification of love, leonie. i know the feeling you speak of but trust me when i say… you are BEYOND enough. i adore you. xx
i’m grateful to share in life’s glory too! so beautifully worded, leonie! xo
I really felt raw with your words in the beginning of this post…the “will I be enough” thoughts.
My wish is that we could all see ourselves through other peoples’ eyes…that we could see our own worth & gifts & beauty & enough-ness the way other people see us for all the wonderousness we truly are.
Thanks for sharing…I can so relate & am always so humbled when I’m presented with just the right thing/person/place/experience I need in the perfect timing that I need it. x
Thank you.
A friend of mine is leaving to live in another country. I’m going to miss her a lot. We have had some good times and much in common…great lessons learned, good laughs and new experiences and super conversations.
The other day she was telling me of someone she had lunch with. At one point she said she wanted to introduce me to this person as she thought we would get along and were of the same caliber. While this was high praise in my mind, the other person’s description intimidated me, I must say.
As I read this post, I was aware of that and then had this overwhelming feeling that I should relax. I respect my friend. I typically respect her opinions….should I not respect her opinion of me? I decided to take your thoughts to heart…I am meant to meet this person. I am meant to. I am worthy of this introduction. I am.
Thank you,
Storm
you are so present, it makes me forget my fears and anxiety and show up to meet you.
and the magic was trout-related, I am sure :)
:-)