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A quiet secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them; then work which one hopes may be of some use; then rest, nature, books, music, love for one’s neighbor — such is my idea of happiness.
– Leo Tolstoy

it’s friday. waitangi day. the wine last night has me waking up with a dry mouth and a thirst for water. i am up early to meet a-friend-of-a-friend for coffee before dropping her at the ferry and getting myself to a group training session at the sports park.

sometimes all it takes to move me is another’s hand, gripping mine fiercely, encouraging me to keep going.

i read the words “effort won’t betray you” and consider all the ways this statement is true in my own life

i share the words “I’m being nice to my future self” with a friend and we talk about some of the ways we can do this for ourselves

monday. a friend arrives, followed closely behind by our new studio. well, part of our new studio. to say that this project has been a comedy of errors would be complimentary. mercury in retrograde messing with us i’m certain. i help carry timber and bags of concrete, then go to the gym.

tuesday, unsurprisingly, i feel like i’ve been run over by a bus. everything aches, the good kind of worked-hard-for this ache. more dramas with the cabin – there’s more than one piece of it missing and [some of] our joinery has been sold to someone else. it could be six weeks before this project is finished. it was meant to be done before christmas.

by today, i’m laughing whenever the phone rings. despite the almost continual errors and monumental f’ups, i understand that stewing about it, or getting angry won’t get it done any faster.

there’s running. and i enjoy it. happiness continues to show herself to me in surprising forms

i find ways to fit myself in, despite being a builders lackey this week. i’ve got paint of my face where most would wear makeup. i think i’ll leave it there when i go out into the world. a mark of beauty of a different kind