the past month

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NARRATIVE // you run into a friend you haven’t seen in a while — “what’s been going on with you?” what’s the story you’re currently telling about yourself, to yourself (and to others)?

i don’t really like to talk about myself a whole lot, choosing instead to listen to the narratives and updates from friends and family. if i do get asked, it’s usually a mumble of “work is crazy busy and i feel mentally exhausted at the end of every week… so much so that my photography, and other creative endeavours are suffering”. for only my very closest friends do i ever go deeper into how i really feel.

RETURN // what did you revisit last month? a song you played over and over. a film you rewatched. a breakfast rut.

we had tickets to one of the elton john concerts in auckland that got postponed until january 2020 due to him having walking pneumonia. so, on the evening we were meant to be at the concert, we found ourselves at home. we cracked open a bottle of champagne, had a curry (very english) and sang along with the movie, belting out tunes that we would have been singing at the top of our lungs had the concert gone ahead as planned.

CONCLUSION // what is something that came to an end this month? are you happy to see it go?

i don’t remember finishing anything at all. i have a pile of things unfinished in fact. and a fierce determination to see some of them through to the end before 2020 turns its last page.

EMOTE // crying, yelling, acting out. what emotions took focus (or perhaps took control)?

i had a fury this month. so much so that it took some good deep breathing exercises and some fresh air to get me back into a good headspace.

i also reconnected with a friend – spending an hour or so chatting to her on facetime – catching up on the last couple of years, picking up the conversation where we last left it and feeling like no time at all has passed between the last time we caught up and this perfect moment. i adore her and the wonders of technology that allow us to reconnect with each other face-to-face, busting through the boundaries of time and distance.

PROCRASTINATE // what did you put off? did you procrastinate small tasks or broad categories?

our mortgages are coming up for renewal at the end of march and i’ve been putting off getting hold of a mortgage broker to negotiate favourable terms for the remaining years. i have now set myself a deadline for getting this done … before the end of the next week i aim to have this all sorted out.

WONDER // what moments crossed the threshold in making you wonder? when did you feel amazement at the world around you or experience a marked break from your routine?

if we don’t have any plans of a weekend, one of my favourite things to do on a saturday morning is sit in bed and read until hunger forces me up. the internet is full of weird and fanciful things and places where joy can be found if you look hard enough. some such places for me the past month are:

1. a blanket octopus unfurling its webbing
2. a new generation of musical talent that’s totally flipping the previously VERY white genre of classical music on its head. diversity, yo.

i like the mornings we are ready for work early. they give us the opportunity for a few “moments of zen” on the way to the ferry, such as stopping at the beach front to listen to the waves on the shoreline for a heartbeat or two.

SENSORY TABLEAU // what were some sense-driven experiences: textures, colours, smells, tastes?

we had dinner out with friends recently at a small south american place in auckland. we ordered one (or more) of everything, oooh’ing and aaah’ing over every single flavour and texture. the presentation, the drinks, the flavours, the company … all of it combined into the perfect evening that my memory will cling to for a long time to come.

also – i veganised this chocolate marmalade cake for a work bake-off recently. it was sticky and chocolately and tasted very very good.

CULTURE LIST // what was read, watched, seen, listened to? and consider the ratio between the mediums.

i’ve been reading crime thrillers. none of which are so memorable that i want to tell you about them, but i’ve enjoyed every one. and we watched the stranger on netflix – amazing how much damage secrets can do to a web of lives and how one person’s perception of helping can be another’s source of seemingly unendurable pain.